What if, instead...

When we try to shift behavior we often think in terms of what we need to stop doing. Let’s start thinking about a behavior shift in terms of what we can start doing.

Dear friends,

Do you know what gets in your way? It's important to identify your roadblocks and then get rid of them in order to really thrive. We think a lot about how to shift our own behavior. This is the time to visit this topic. We are halfway through January. Have you made and stuck to your personal or professional New Year's resolutions? 

We understand if you haven't. And we both prefer to create and stick to our best intentions. 

“When we try to shift behavior we often think in terms of what we need to stop doing. Let’s start thinking about a behavior shift in terms of what we can start doing and frame our wanted behavior in a positive light.” - Michele

👇🏻 Listen to us for a minute on this... one minute and 20 seconds to be exact.

Let’s get personal. How are you speaking to yourself?

How often have you said the following to yourself:

• I'm going to stop eating so much junk food

• I'm not going to use my phone to watch videos before bed anymore

• I'm not going to raise my voice when my child frustrates me

Try re-framing the way that you speak to yourself. Your brain responds best when you tell it to start doing instead of stopping doing.  

• I am going to eat fruit when I want a snack

• I am going to put my device away an hour before bed

• I am going to pause and breathe, and then speak more compassionately when I'm frustrated with my child

Let’s set intentions rather than resolutions. Positive self-talk rather than negative.  Sometimes, loosening up our expectations by being less specific can help create more space for what we really want for ourselves and help us achieve it. If you impose a structure of musts - such as, “I must go to the gym 5 days a week”-  that can start to feel like a chore, and one that's hard to maintain. It creates a roadblock. What if instead, we tell ourselves, “ I want to make the choice to go to the gym more often during the week and I will commit to that intention.” Surprisingly, you've taken the obligation and burden out of it and it can become something you look forward to rather than something you force yourself to do. Don't get us wrong. We love structure and goal setting, but the way we speak to ourselves and set up our goals all depends on the individual. On you. What you're trying to accomplish and your own feelings about that specific thing.

Ask yourself, "How can I speak to myself in a way that makes achieving my goal behavior more possible." 

Ask yourself, Can I commit to stating my desires in the positive for the next week? Let's see what happens.  Find or create a journal. Ok… it can be a scrap of paper or your iPhone notes, even a text to a friend! Or be really radical and email it to us at info@monumentalme.com.

Take action, Write down your desired behavior and come up with a few ways to reframe it to what you will do, and speak positively to yourself.  

👉🏻  Check out our video clip ABOVE to hear more!  

Comments or suggestions? Email us at info@monumentalme.com or hit reply.  Or engage with us on Instagram or Linked In. We would love to hear from you. 

🧡 Michele & Liana