🔍Are you seeing yourself properly?

Notes From the Road by Michele Mavi

Fresh out of a training delivery at Relias, Inc., Michele has some insights to share.

Sometimes, the only thing that separates strength from weakness is perception. 

One of my favorite exercises to do when conducting a Clifton Strengths workshop (AKA StrengthsFinders) is LOVE, CRAZY, ENVY. Participants share their strengths and identify one of their top five strengths they love, one that drives them crazy, and one that they envy. Envy is pretty straightforward. We all get what that means. But when it comes to finding a strength we love or one that drives us crazy, it’s not always straightforward and often, they end up being the same strength. 

For example, someone who is highly analytical may love their ability to easily find patterns or see connections in things others generally can’t. It may be the strength that has been the biggest contributor to their success. However, that same strength also has the ability to drive them crazy. Often it may cause a feeling of constantly looking at things from an outside perspective and not feeling fully part of something. Or, it could cause them to be stuck, suffering from analysis paralysis, which is the inability to make a decision due to overthinking a problem. We can certainly hold one perception about our strengths and abilities. For example,  ”I love getting down in the weeds with information and making sense out of it.” Someone else, however, can see our strength  in another light entirely, “You always get so bogged down in the weeds, you’re not spontaneous enough, and you’re in your head too much.” Perception is powerful. 

I was reminded recently of just how powerful perception is during a conversation with one of my workshop participants. She mentioned that as someone who has the strengths of Harmony, Communication, and Connectedness in her top 5 Strengths she was always seen as someone who just wanted everyone to get along and who didn’t like to rock the boat. She was seen as always looking to keep the peace. A friend even told her that these qualities made her bad at conflict management and so she adopted this perspective for most of her young adult life. Thankfully, years later, she was able to see her top 5 with a fresh perspective and shared the idea that seeking harmony, being a communicator, and finding connections between people are all part of effective conflict management. Her strengths didn’t change but her perception of them did. As a result, so did her capabilities and the outcomes she created.

When you start to doubt your talents or abilities, remember that every strength has a balcony (a high point when it’s being used most effectively) and a basement (a low point when it is being used in a detrimental way). The mistake that we make lies in placing a positive or negative value on a specific strength, as opposed to the application of that strength. All strengths are neutral, it’s what we do with them that makes all the difference.

🧡Michele

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